zen

been goin thru sum mild depression these days.. or was it ever since i could barely remember? somehow i feel like im falling..sinking.. and some days i feel.. empty.. vacuum empty kinda way. and i have very low arousal levels, and i was constantly seeking for things that would level up my moods or spirits..it's like.. 'wat do u really want deep within you?' i wouldn't say that i don't know, but perhaps i would need to dig deeper into my own can of worms*. as sometimes humans tend to like to live in denial. just plain simple human characteristics. anyway, i just don't wanna complain or whine much bout it.. will try to be as chilled and placid as possible from now onwards. i don't lash out at people no matter what kinda state im in tho. it's just me dealing with me and my circumstances. i just feel.. precarious. yeap, that's the word.
but from now onwards i wanna be zen..i wanna have a more sunny disposition, on the inside too. well, im always sunny on the outside.. kinda.i guess at the end of the day, it's just important in finding ur purpose in life.
and ohh, when i browsed back my posts.. i find grammar mistakes on some of it. not good. shud be more careful of it next time. i think that u ought to hav perfect grammar especially if ur blogging, unless if it's a slang and ur doin it on purpose.
as i think it's kinda a turn-off if ur posting shitty england in ur blog. as a matter of fact, i did came across one or two blogs. (am tryin to be vague here so that it ain't sound like a personal thing, ain't dissing no one here) it spells total disregard for the people who reads it, insulting their inteligence.. surely they can't be that dumb rite? or rather, surely they can't be as dumb and blockheaded as u are, rite? even tho u might think that they are at the same standard as u, given the benefit of the doubt, that u don't realise u are hopeless in english., lol.
just an opinion, which could very much be a fact. thk you. am getting tired. gonna sleep, hav to wake up damn 7 early tomoro.


~ so you became nothing but lucid memories...pieces and fragments of it, yet so vivid and poignant.. even tho time passes..~