the fear you won't fall

and i feel really ......... rite now.. and the......... seems to get deeper and real as the seconds passes by.. and i know that only one thing would take away these feelings.. but yet it seems.. it ain't happening now, in this very second as im typing it here right now..
i really want this feeling to go away.. is it just me and the devil in my head or.. is this really reality?
fuck.. im rambling like there's no ends here.. now i fucking sound like a damsel in distress.. and most of them would'nt hav a damn idea on what im talking about rite now..
and im trying my best to get a grip of myself... i just wanna know the outcome for tonite or tomorrow nite.. and i seriously miss him like fuck sometimes.. and tonite is especially the nite.. with a mixture of........ and im wondering... is it relevant the way that im feeling rite now..




and this is the most recent pic taken of me.. for those who says that there is no pic in my blog! with esther dear.. in poppy.. dun really feel the hype about clubbing these days anymore.. (and no, im not a hardcore clubber.. never was neways)