the month of May

i should be studying right now.. in fact i am.. but currently i just feel so tired and exhausted and in need of an outlet to vent on my emotions right now.. or rather.. the lack of. today, (or maybe just right now at this very moment) the fire in me just.. vanished. okayy, maybe i am just being really tired.. it's funny how girls tend to dramatize every single thing or thoughts that they feel.. it's like they actually enjoy it! lol. like what LiLO (lindsay you-know-who) said.. "everyone is a drama-queen". i think.. so much so until even when a girl isn't pulling of her dramatic stunts at all (well maybe she was just goin thru some emotional dark- patches, everyone goes thru dark-patches and honestly speaking if you've never gone thru some so called emotional turmoil 1, you must be dead and in heaven. 2, u hadn't gone thru it yet, so the best thing for you to do is to just brace yourself and enjoy the ride mate! 3, you are a retard.), as usual she would be deemed as one due to the mental scheme of people. stereotyping never runs out in both sexes. but like honestly? i think drama-queens could be bimbotically annoying. if you know what i mean.
its not fair. and its never fair. life was never fair come to think of it. it's true and you know it. whoever who is reading knows this, and no i am not whining. seldom do i whine or have the energy to whine these days. or maybe it's because im just tired of pondering about the pieces and slices of me life.
and now i am asking myself..
Am i a drama-queen myself like i thought so a couple of years back?
NOPE, but i certainly very often do find a way to express myself. im just born with an expressive nature, you see.. XD

p.s: i think LL is so preetty.. if only she could just stop partying so hard and be so self-destructive.. which i believe eventually she'll figure out she had enuff.

the lovers of the past

all the dreams that we had build along the way, only to have it crushed to the ground.. and memories were inked, we'll always have that..

now im burying this deep.. and you should too, once and for all..
im not too sure about you.. but things are waiting for me out there.. better ones indeed.










~ looking back.. we were beautiful..aren't we?.. even tho it hurts for a bit.. ~~

the obsolete

i realized that i.. and this makes me dislike the fact that i.. never in a million years would i have thought of.. because at first i thought that.. and still felt.. and you seemed.. so i thought.. and i shouldn't have had.. but either way it wouldn't be pretty..





now how more ironic can it get? time indeed changes everything. it changes feelings and it changes perceptions. anyone who knows my story will indeed tell you that it is as ironic that it gets.. that irony could have been my middle name..








but i really do..







~ sometimes.. the more things seem to change.. the more they stay the same.. ~