title

sumtimes i do feel really vulnerable... but.. fuck it.. it's strong to be vulnerable sometimes.. my fren said..
sumtimes i don't really know wat people are thinking.... but come to think of it.. they wouldn't know wat im thinking either..
it's the same.....

happy shopping!!!

i made peace with it.. after like.. dunno, few days after .. and we don't need to be talking either.. no, we don't. preferably not. ( i realized that i didn't need to put my heart on my sleeves, not with this fish anyways) and those 'excuse' , pretty lame..lol.. ur just... erm..i realized, i dunno..kinda weird i guess.. i may be wrong tho.. perhaps it was me, not u.. but i do think im rite.. this time. :p

new year shopping.. havent done any yet... new year camera.. havent bought any yet.. sony or canon?? i was weighing the pros and cons for a very long time..new year shoes.. it's a must every year.. so they said.. lolz
everything's anew.. on the next brand new year.. and my hair.. not gonna dye it again.. lurve the color already.. trimming it only next month then.. new year hairstyles are also a must.. this is wat i say la..
new purse too.. but havent come across any that i like tho.. and new set of lingeries.. :)
hav a feeling im gonna be spending much more than last year..
ohh.. christmas havent come then talk about new year d..

=D

yeap.. i did work yesterday.. for the premiere of 'australia' in pavilion..pretty easy job.. pay wasn't bad either..

sumtimes i think that life shud be simple, because human can be really complicated at times.

and in simplicity comes beauty.. and there is beauty in simplicity.. and im talkin crapz now.. but its the truth tho.. it really shud be just that simple..

and thoughts could be simple too.. but not the mind.. if u get wat i mean.. if we were to take the complication out of the context.. and just focus on things as it is, even though we may not be too certain of wat it is exactly.

imo, as sometimes its just not necessary to delve into deep thoughts, thinking simply on the surface or a lil below and just chill.. does not really mean that ur shallow or some sort.and we would minus all the hassle.. it depends actually.. come to think of it..

and christmas is coming!!!!!!! not that i usually celebrate it tho..

and i dream of cars and houses this morning.. and if i were to go into the freudian theory.. then my dreams could hav been some sort of subconcious stuffs.. and cars and houses and colors would be some sort of symbols of explicit contents and hidden desires or watever..

lets see, there's the yellow orangy car, the milky white one, and the red car.. not to mention the really dark hued car. and the first two former was a sportcar of the same brand and the last two latter was .. yea.. one of my fav brands. and houses were white. not with white picket fences tho.. lol.

it's a fri nite.. goin out to cynna.. as much as i do enjoy my solitary.. haha..

and nopee, i didnt went to cynna.. but, went to mont kiara with my ji mui, suddenly.. lolz, was fun..

never assume people

i'll work tomoro if i can get the rite outfits..
and im thinking.. perhaps u expected too much from me. or what i should be, perhaps it were somewhat high enough to dissolve the illusions that u once held. maybe there was too lil to start with..realized that sooner or later the same stuffs might surface.
too bad then. no big loss for us i guess.. :P


~ and i felt relieved, despite it all.. surprisingly..~

pokerface?

went to kenneth's place after their prom.. i didnt go.. ohh.. kinda regreted i didnt went, didnt hav the time to buy a dress for it.. but nevemind, neXt year then, haha...

finally learned how to play poker.. thanks to marcus and frens lol... now poker is way more easier than 'cho tai di'... nice..... never really learned how to master 'cho tai di' by da way.. since young.. but.. never been a big fan of gambling tho..

ahh.. work on thurs.. then go chill after that... lolz..
neways.. i really wanna do sth constructive during hols.. altho i said that i wouldn't wanna.. (yea me change all the time) at the same time being able to relax..
make full use of it.. >.<

anyways.. i was a bit curios bout sumthin.. like.. wat triggers it.. seriously. i hav no idea.. wish i could find out tho.. cos sumtimes, there is nothing we can do about it.. cos.. there could be a lot of factors.. in the meanwhile.. i just fuck it laa... couldn't care less.. erm, rite?? :P

happy holidays !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its a holiday.. my examz are over.. and well, like.. honestly.. i think i did good in my exams.. all those sleepless nites were worthwhile..
and now, im a free woman.. lolz.. well, kinda..
i'ved got a confession to make... for the past few days.. i kinda lost track of the date and....... tonite.. i thought that it was still november without giving it much thought... omg!! now thats really... i dunno.. no comment.. :p
ahhhh.. me and my 'blonde' moments...


shit denise.. ur gonna so freaking laugh at me again if u see this post.. and stop saying that ur a brunette while im a blonde.. u biatch!!!!! its just 'moments' okayy.. lol

random random...

random facts

i am somewhat high in sensation seeking, thrills , excitement to adventure.. and ppl like mua has a tendency to agress..

i tend to look.. er.. blur sumtimes (or maybe, usually)

am pretty spontaneous..

luvs to procrastinate...

tend to be pretty darn vocal at some times..

i do hav my quiet moments..i find overtly hyper people pretty annoying.. well, if they act in an annoying way la that is...

im a sucker for romance.. like.. really..tend to be rather picky tho.. :p

i kinda live by these two sets of rules
'always giv people the benefit of the doubt, never be too quick to judge.'
'always be nice to the people who made your life nicer.'

one must always constantly improve oneself..

always appreciate people who likes you as you are.. for those who don't then, ohh.. too bad, i guess..yeaa.. tough luck...

unfortunately, often am quick to judge a person positively than negatively..
i tend to just look at the good side of people and dismiss the bad..
which may makes me rather ingenuous..

i do things on impulses..

luvs being an only child. =)

is life shaped on fate and destiny or purely based on our own actions?

tend to go paranoid at times..

believes that what we see and what we hear will eventually come out from our mouth...

life.. can be ironic.. especially mine..

sometimes.. i feel slightly vulnerable then the rest..

but.. life is good afterall.. lol.

used to be an idealist in pretty much everything in life.. used to..

used to believe in soulmates when i was like.. really young too.. not too sure now tho..

no, am not emo bout any shit anymore.. someone just pulled me out..or was i the one who pulled myself out?one day u wake up, it just does not hurt anymore.. and you didn't even realise it until you thought about it. and then u'll just go like.. 'fuck it la.. watever'.. :D

most times, i do take much pride in myself for just being me.

i think i can be pretty vain at times.. at least i admit it.. and i'm kinda narcissistic too.. ;p

i don't feel that insecure anymore.. :D

i tend to daydream.. but doesn't most gals? i dunnop..

i do hav a rather huge ego.. for a gal.. which i ain't proud of it anyway..

surprisingly, those around me says that i ain't bitchy enuff towards those who's... erm.. a bitch or an ass?? lol.. it pays to be a bitch sometimes, they say.. oh well.. i'll try? haha..

sometimes people just come for a 'reason' in your life, stays for that 'reason' and then leaves after their 'task' is done.. you ought to just be thankful that at least.. they did their part, and that ur ends were meet. well, sometimes laa.. not all. generally..

i wouldn't wanna go to far bout this thing.. or else.. again.. i may appear evidently sheer and ingenuous..

one shoudn't reveal oneself too much... :P

exams on sat and mon..short holidays after that.. could prolly catch a movie or two or just.. sleep, drink and eat.. fuck..errr.. no. lolz..and do nothing too constructive..

okayy......... enough of my extended post of pure randomness.. sleepy, nap first..


krys

quote

~people are never who they seem they are.
be wary. be alert. trust a few, heighten your senses with the others.
people come and people go. it's their choice.
we cannot do anything should people want to disappear from our lives.
all we can do is keep in contact with those who do give a fuck.~



(eric wong) ;P

lapse

was somewhat enthralled by some discoveries i would say.. albeit being a casual occassion..
until the end of it..
well.. either way.. knew that i wouldn't quite know how to react to it..
and then my ego was talking.. shud just hav swallowed it up instead.. darn........

busy busy.....

hectic month.. im gonna hav exams next week onwards.. and i still hav not start my revisions yet.. typical me..
okay.. i think i need to chill... like.. no matter wat.. am feeling kinda edgy and restless.. nth feels rite.. even blogging rite now feels totally weird.. and now.. even being under my skin feels weird.. i wonder hav anyone ever felt the same..i bet they do.. just not as consistent as me .. i guess.
okay.. now im speechless again..
few things on my mind.. as much as i would luv to kiss and tell... i dont think so for now.. at least not this time.. but.. ahhh.. its just random random small things... nothing big that would make people go wide-eyed..
yea.. by da way.. kobee.. i dig ur blog cos.. u kinda write (good) shit.. and by writing shit and not giving a shit bout other people that dont matters? just imo..
so u suppose i shud just chill too... yea.. zen-like.. lol
but sumtimes u just cant help it when ur mind is playing fuck with u.. or can u? especially when ur seeing shit sum where.. and u cant help it but to feel.. erm.. not feel so nice.. mentally or wat.. (even tho u don hav any valid reasons to feel that way anymore, except for .. it just stirs up some of the stufss that u had learned to put behind). and talkin doesnt really help about it.. cos u hav been goin in circles.. even the closest ones to u would go, 'tell me sum latest news instead, not the old ones'.. and u urself knows that better than the rest of them.. lol..
but of cos ur fine now.. how could u be not fine after so many days of unfine..

zen

been goin thru sum mild depression these days.. or was it ever since i could barely remember? somehow i feel like im falling..sinking.. and some days i feel.. empty.. vacuum empty kinda way. and i have very low arousal levels, and i was constantly seeking for things that would level up my moods or spirits..it's like.. 'wat do u really want deep within you?' i wouldn't say that i don't know, but perhaps i would need to dig deeper into my own can of worms*. as sometimes humans tend to like to live in denial. just plain simple human characteristics. anyway, i just don't wanna complain or whine much bout it.. will try to be as chilled and placid as possible from now onwards. i don't lash out at people no matter what kinda state im in tho. it's just me dealing with me and my circumstances. i just feel.. precarious. yeap, that's the word.
but from now onwards i wanna be zen..i wanna have a more sunny disposition, on the inside too. well, im always sunny on the outside.. kinda.i guess at the end of the day, it's just important in finding ur purpose in life.
and ohh, when i browsed back my posts.. i find grammar mistakes on some of it. not good. shud be more careful of it next time. i think that u ought to hav perfect grammar especially if ur blogging, unless if it's a slang and ur doin it on purpose.
as i think it's kinda a turn-off if ur posting shitty england in ur blog. as a matter of fact, i did came across one or two blogs. (am tryin to be vague here so that it ain't sound like a personal thing, ain't dissing no one here) it spells total disregard for the people who reads it, insulting their inteligence.. surely they can't be that dumb rite? or rather, surely they can't be as dumb and blockheaded as u are, rite? even tho u might think that they are at the same standard as u, given the benefit of the doubt, that u don't realise u are hopeless in english., lol.
just an opinion, which could very much be a fact. thk you. am getting tired. gonna sleep, hav to wake up damn 7 early tomoro.


~ so you became nothing but lucid memories...pieces and fragments of it, yet so vivid and poignant.. even tho time passes..~

dearest lipstick

shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!! g0ddamn it! the lipstick!!!!!!!!!!!! how could u??

one of my most famous tv show 'lipstick jungle' wouldn't be renewed after the second season after all.. due to not high enuff ratings..... absurd.. and i thought everything bout the show was so good.. just nice.. like.. really entertaining..
i was really looking forward towards its second season. the casts were so cute.. and i thought, it would at least run for 5 or 6 seasons.. it is that good.
everything about that show was like i've said.. just nice.. perfectly done.. the cast were perfecto.
it's such a disapointment. damn it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i don't understand... like.. seriously. how could they? im dumfounded by this news now.. shite.............
imagine if suddenly , for u gals, gossip girl suddenly get pulled out from the network, or prison break suddenly stopped running.. (with both the bros just stay in prison,must be getting life sentence, since ur not seeing anymore of them anymore either)
eh, mana boleh mereka buat cam tuu... ishh.....!!!!!!!!!!!!
ohh well, let it go krystal.. let it be.. among other things to let go.. let this go too.. it does not matter, just a tv show after all.. (not that i dunno) =.= . but still.... are they blind or wat?

the girl who trod on a loaf

my assignment's due date is coming nearer and nearer.. and i still haven started anythin on it yet.. i surely hope im gonna start tomoro.. been having headaches since shisha last nite and this headache comes at nite.. which is like.. now.
anyway, i read this fairytale by andersen titled 'the girl who trod on a loaf' . its about a proud and arrogant gal named Inger (luv her name , by da way) who was proud of who she is, cos most of all, she was proud of her beauty cos she is a really pretty gal (the story says).And she looked down upon her parents cos they were just simply dirt poor people. fast forward.. she was sent as a servant to sum rich family and she was wearing her best clothes and her best shoes.. to impress her mom.. and she passed by this marsh.. who is really murky and muddy, for fear of spoilling or dirtying her shoes.. she troded on the loaf of bread that she bought along.. then she fell deep inside the marsh and , got punished and went thru bout a century of sufferings and hell..
im not saying that i can relate to her but im defending her in sum ways.. i mean, come on.. if i were to hav my most expensive shoes on or my fav shoes, i would trod on a loaf too, not just a loaf, maybe even two or three. i know that u shouldn't insult food like that as there's karma. but, realistically speaking.. one hav to weigh the pro's and cons rationally..(if such situations do arise, altho rare)for example, stepping on the bread to save a pair of jimmy choo's is a valid enuff
reason la..
just 'imo'.. 'in my opinion'.. of one of my fav fairytales.. just learned it from TK.. can't believe im bad with acronyms.. i only know 'wtf''.. lol. didnt even know wats lmao for a long time before he told me wat's that.. everyone was like goin 'lmao' when i was wondering wat the heck was that..

sign off,
krys

clueless?

first impressions.. sometimes i do wonder how much does it counts? most often we find ourselves having made wrong impressions bout people.. but sumtimes, in sum cases for sum ppl, first impressions are real.. wat u see, is kinda wat u get.. but just how often would u meet that kinda people? rare...
sumtimes u cant even trust ur own opinion or instincts about sumone new whom u just met.. i know i cant trust mine.. (well, at least im not living in denial, as most people are often confident bout their judgement of people, based on first or second impression) but i guess, timing does play a part too.. different settings invokes different type of personalities, and humans change in the course of environment and settings and time..
but sumtimes, it's sad to see that the person whom u thought he/she was.. is actually the other way round.. very much different.. it's good if it's for the better, but real bad if it's for the worse..
the moral of the story? never ever expect things from the others but urself. unfortunately, there's always this subconcious expectation from us towards the other person.. i guess everyone are like that..

anyway, i just met this sumone new..very recently..yea... so... i'll be seeing to see if im right .. ;P

placidity.. i wish it would stay

went out with denise like.. last two weeks ago? kinda forgotten when.. we went to ikea for swedish meatballs.. lurve em.. and then went to the curve for some coffee due to the miss coffee addict.. she couldnt stand a day without em.. =.= . not really into caffeine myself.. prefer nicotine.. but oh.. i hope im definately quitting soon.. when we were there.. at this place called Kluang Station, a guy paid for our drinks and left anonymously without us noticing.. the waitress told us bout it after we wanted to pay for the drinks.. "erm, you kenal dia ke?" i was like.. err.. tak. she was staring blankly at us for like few seconds.. 'wat? u wan us to pay u one more time just cos we tak kenal dia? i thought. lol..

ahh.. anyway, i was thinking.. must be due to denise's de charme.. serious.. =D

bought a pair of new earrings too but lost it on the same day. due to my stupid bag.. i always lost stuff occasionally whenever im out with that bag.. thrown that bag away.. i need a deeper bag.. ;-p

and ohh, luckily i finished most of my assignment, i guess it went well.. but there's still another two.. bein staying grounded at home lately.. life of a uni student.. aiks


me and her










anyway, just sum random shots..

pms-ing now.. feeling a lil placid but uncongenial at the same time.. placidness thks to some chemics ?

krys

cognitive dissonance?

i am stressed out.. all stressed out.. with the assignments and stuff.. i need to do this piece regarding cognitive dissonance.. and i need to pull thru and fair well in it.. fucking 15 pages.. damn.. it does not help cos i lost my motivation. and im running out of time. but deep down inside i know i will pull thru successfully.. yea.. well, cos i hav to. there ain't much choices.. and im listing out journals now for the assignment.
and once in a while i fall into this state of melancholia.. (im not sure if it's even a word, technically speaking). i just feel like a doughnut. it sounds a lil funny, come to think of it.
met him again after bout a year.. for sum funny reasons that does not quite make perfect sense to me, he has the notion that i was still into him. and had not fail to point that out to me verbally. i found that a bit ridiculous at first, at how sumone can be so .. over-confident despite various reasons. i guess its a good trait.. if we were to see things in a different perception. these illusions that we hav for ourselves regarding ourselves. i'm afraid i can't help but to judge a person as disillusioned as him. nevertheless, i didn't hav the heart to tell him that he just lost the X factor that i once thought he possessed and that i view things differently.. he just lost it. lol.
nah.. don't think that anyone would know who im talkin bout.. unless.. for a few , i guess. anyway, i just wanna do good in this assignment. hectic sem ..

of this and that....

im am feeling restless.... i actually logged to the net to search something uo just now.. but then.. i totally forgotten bout what wat i wanted to look up on. it just disappeared.. and i hav been feeling pretty restless these days. it's like i wanna be in this place, but when im here.. i wanna be there.. if im there.. i wanna be in another place.. once i got to that other place i wanna be back at where i was before i wanted to be in that other place. it's like wanting to be outside when im at home, but once im out, i would prefer to stay in my own room.. i wonder hav you guys ever felt that way often..
i often told my cousin D that i often feel misunderstood, like a misunderstood being.. and she often says the reason why i always feels misunderstood is because i don't often state myself clearly. that i tend to be vague and contradicting at times.. and i am wondering whether its true, or am i just misunderstood this time again.
exam coming this week, and then .. there's the god damn fucking assignments.. im starting to feel pretty agitated.. but everyone in my class is gonna go thru it too.. so there's really nothing to complain about.. yea..
and she was goin thru sum cases of low self-esteem lately.. but she is good now, i wonder when will it start again.. as she would often plunge into it once in a while... self esteem issues aren't my issues these days anymore, i hav no qualms with it.. thats like.. one of the last things on my mind.. well, except for the 'fat' issue.. i still think i need to lose weight.. altho i had lost sum already recently.. 5 feet 5 = 51 kg. so tell me.. is that fat? if i were to ask me, i would say.. certainly not.. but just not thin enuff, the reality is. so im gonna study more.. eat less these days.. and sleep more.. sometimes the lack of sleep can really screw things up and makes u bitchy, even tho u may not be a bitch.. and the effects of sleeping overboard can make u feel lazy.. i'ved been feeling pretty lazy and unmotivated today and yesterday.. it was the effect of oversleeping due to the results of lack of sleep. it's just like a vicious cycle.. so what am i goin thru now? i still feel scattered, restless and lazy.. damn. but i certainly don't think that im talking nonsense rite now. just being random.. come to think of it.. this is one of the most random post that i'ved posted.. more randomness to come next time i guess..
im so gonna go spend that 20% topshop bday voucher tomoro.. after i had done my revisions.. i'll be dead if i don't do well in it.
yay.. finally gotten my imported amy winehouse cd yesterday.. im a big fan of hers.. heart her. not many gets her type of genre tho. especially her style. darn.. im random-ing again ..

untitled again

i went thru frenster and kinda scroll thru my old blog in frenster and realised that i tend to write better few years ago, compared to the present.. at least i thought so.. words and vocab seemed to flow more naturally then.. perhaps i had been reading a lot in the past.. and much less now.. cos i was 18 then, and 21 now, so surely, i otta hav improved tremendously rite?

http://krys87.blog.friendster.com/

or perhaps it was much or less the same.. nah.. sumhow the vibe's different.. it was a lot more moodier then.. full of teenage angst.. okay.. maybe not a lot.. but a bit..
anyway, mid term is coming very soon, time to brush up... gotta start my revision real soon, before its too late.. gotta cut off my slacker mode.. gotta go for tute tomorow, since i missed today's tute and classes.. gotta Gambateh!!!!!!!!!! growing up may be fun.. but along with it comes new sets of responsibility and expectations from people and from myself.. but of course, growing up also means excitements in every aspect of life.. call me a thrill-seeker.. but to seek thrills responsibly and just blindly seeking any fun i can get is 2 diff things.. and to be able to differentiate the difference is a different question all together... as there's a thin line between the former and the latter.. afterall, fun is just fun.. thrills are just thrills in the end. any fools can have blind fun. it does not mean shit at the end of the day. just an opinion. =P

sign off,
krystal

good

yeap.. got it.. like .. seriously.. im okay, perhaps few months down the road i will laugh bout it after all..
everyone goes thru tough times, perhaps.. it ain't that tough actually, come to think of it rationally.. just part of being young and all..
anyway, been spending a lot these days.. from the stupid Beauty Expo thingy, Topshop, Alldressedup, imported cd, impulsive buys, bags, food, drinks... broke....!!!
its just that a lot has been goin thru around the past few days (this one nth to do with it), which kinda leaves me ( cos raya, nth much to do, free .. =D ) time to reflect ( in the past, gullibility was my middle name) and stuff.. aiii yaa.... i'l be fine wan la.. cos in the end, im always the one who manages to saves myself.. undeniably.

losing my religion

all this things are pretty absurb.. lol.. trust can be destroyed really easily..and i thought that this would never happen to me, at least not now or in the near future.. its true that humans are complicated.. save the oil.. dont waste it.. like.. seriously..


~ for what it's worth.. i still do..~
~ at least, things are improving..~

insomniac pt.2

shit.. i can't sleep.. i just can't..am wide awake.. and it isn't helping my complexion. fuck. damn. howww ?????????!!

Insomniac

it's gettin really late rite now.. almost early in the morn.. but i can't sleep.. been having bouts of insomnia ever since the starting of classes.. and experiencing deja vu.. hadn't i blog about having

trouble sleeping already?

gonna sleep early to make sure im staying alert for my 'one hour' class tomorrow.. i 'ved got comments that there are just too much words in my blog and none photo.. really? too much words? is that really too much for you guys? and all these while i'ved tried to kinda tone it down while being as expressive while using as less words as possible. as i know for the fact that no one really has a long attention span in blog reading these days.. well, unless you'ved got something really interesting topic that's worth talking about and worth hearing about. then you can rant about them all day and all nite long about the same topic over and over again.. even better, make conversations and argue with urself or others over that particular topic.. ( like what xiaxue do, which is...*yawns*) which.. is hard to come across these days, and mostly it would be by a blog from someone of the opposite sex. (no, i am so not biased, it's just that most guys have a more wicked sense of humour than gals, face it!!!!) and it's just that i don't cam-whore like most gals do when u go to their blogs.. i mean, i do take pictures by myself with myself.. but i don't cam-whore.. at least that's what i perceive it as one of the things that i don't do..

i take photos.. i don't CAMWHORE. period.

who came up with the name camwhore anyway?to me, it just sounds plain stupid and dumb. everyone practically uses this word. is that even a word anyway? cos it just sounds too far-fetched from the initial word which comprises of no meaning anyway. whore? camwhoring? whore? i mean.. seriously?! what's that supposed to mean? i know what the words supposed to mean.. but technically? it just means that ur supposed to be whoring (posing) in front of your own camera huh..

but i don't see any whoring going on.. not inside any of their pics anyway.. so, word of advise for whoever, next time if ur really camwhoring (or when at least ur sure ur doing it) make sure it's really proper whoring.. pose like one.. dress like one.. or just dress in ur 'underwears and nude pumps'. otherwise.. the name kinda looses its essence, rite?? :)

and ohh..anyway these are the photos that i took during my baby sis's small birthday celebration.. she's 17 this year.


i luv her.. and him.. :)


krystal and elizabeth


this is me.. without make-up. doin nothin .'taking pictures' . lol.

ahhh.. see?? pictures.. who say dun hav??! haha.. just not a whole lot of 'whoring' thats all.
anyway.. it's gettin earlier now.. wouldn't wanna be unprepared for class, would i? altho it's only for one fucking hour.

days and days

so.. i went to mv like.. last thurs for the purpose of eating Carl's Jr with TK.. he said i was deprived.. and he.. as a good samaritan, want to bring me there to hav a taste of what Carl's Jr is like.. 'yea im a very deprived person.. rite.. and ur just so smart, by being able to tell that, and good..for doing charity work." i said. He said Carl's Jr is the best fast food chain.. i said i still think Wendy's the best. He asked y? and i said.. 'erm, bcos of the advertisment.. and the beef looks square? i havent tried it.. (yea, i know.. i'm ThaT deprived.lol)
So, we hav this bet that.. if i managed to totally finish the whole set, i win.. and he's bring me to watch "The Dark Knight" ws kinda surprised that i haven't even watch that show yet, when half the world's population had already.. 'Yea, i AM deprived, i thought u already know that' i said..
he said he just didn't know that i was ThaT deprived..
anyway, i won...(which ain't surprising for the fact that i can eat a lot and i have this really healthy appetite) and we get to watch it.. well of cos.. he already brought the tics at the first place.. perhaps with the assumption that i wouldn't fcking keep my word. lol.
Heath Ledger was extraordinarily good in his performance.. it's funny how i had hoped and was relieved that he didn't die in the movie.. when in fact.. he is already long gone.. and it had been for quite some time.. ~ it's true how time flies.. in the blink of an eye.. not technically.. but well...... ~


~ sometimes, the greatest thing that you would ever learn in life is learning to let go.. forgive and forget.. it's easier to forgive than to forget.. until one day.. you are lucky enough to not realise that you had forgotten about the fact that you had forgotten.. sometimes life is just about letting go and let live.. ~

Happy Birthday MYJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happey birthday Matthew !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yum cha and drinking to celebrate one of my close fren's b day... later evening celebrate again..
hey... wat happened to celebrating together ?? hehe...
as usual.. we played the drinking game at a fren's place.. and losers.. of cos.. would hav to drink... good for those who are tryin to 'cheat' and lose many times.. so that they could drink as much as possible.. =D
of cos.. i only drink.. 1 small cup.. self -control is like the road to success.. while the rest drank much more and sum of them drank damn 'zhat' lot.. lol.
like wat Tse Kai used to say... "i just drink for fun. No drinking = NO FUN" hehe... yea fren.. ur name is here inside this blog that u 'luv' so much... so how u feel ?? proud enuff ?? Wahahahaha................ erm. ok. anyway..
class really early tomoro.. but i don't think im taking that Counselling sub for elektif.. we'll see how it goes tomoro.. i mean.. later, cos its kinda early in the morn now already.. not sleepy still.. im having bouts of insomnia.. which is kinda unhealthy.. gals should sleep earlier.. in fact... all gals should..

lessons that i learn in life.. sometimes comes with an expensive price.. the ques is.. do i ever?

of classes, 21, and Ministry of Sound

classes gonna start tomoro.. yay.. im so happyy.. if only u could hav feel wat i am feeling now.. like.. rite.. totally looking forward to it..
went to MV last week with a good fren.. shared a meal at Chilli's.. portion was big and food was good.. was only my second time there.. then we watched 21.. bout a bunch of students who mastered the art of counting cards and therefore went to Vegas along with their professor on a weekly-basis to win loads of money and so on..
'makes u wanna go genting and win sum cash.." "im gonna do sum research on this card-counting thing" my fren said.. after the movie.. "i wish i have a truck loads of money.. imagine all the things i could do.." "krystal, lets go genting.. maybe u have sum beginner's luck and win sum money too..'" he said again.. lol. funny.
yea.. the movie was kinda entertaining.. hehe.. and not to mention.. there is this really cute cast inside..




so.. which cast was i talkin bout?? hehe..

i was talkin bout the Korean inside.. Aaron Yoo.. luv his style inside 21.. hehe





him in 'Disturbia'.. :D


by da way.. went to Euphoria by MOS like.. last 3 days ago.. the club is just sooo fcuking big.. and the VIP room.. so fcking darkk.. niceeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! i dun mind if it actually doesnt allow smoking.. haha..

Lipstick Jungle

went to Neway dat nite.. sang with my ji muis (real) for few hours.. the whole session was okay.. thought that there was gonna be cake.. no cake?? maybe later at nite , they say.. imagine the whole session without beer and ciggiess.. lol.. wasn't temped anyways.. serious.. serious
..
sing halfway then got people chek my gan suddenly.. dunno why these people like to 'chek gan'.. luckily i wasn't in a bad mood.. if not i would have had cause a scene there...

i watched the whole season 1 of Lipstick Jungle.. no doubt it's like one of the best.. apart from Grey's Anatomy.. its just like.. the Bomb.. lol.











the main cast of 'Lipstick Jungle' .. with Brooke Shields in the middle..





and................................



The free - spirited Victory Ford starring Lindsay Price..

Seriously.. this show is worth a watch..
Krystal T

happy birthday to mama and elizabeth wong.

tomoro is gonna be my mom's and lil cousin's birthday.. two of my closest females on earth.. my baby sis ah tik gonna be .. lets see.. 17 this year.. look at how fast time passes..
will be singing K for half of the day.. since it will only be us that will be singing.. i actually enjoy singing far more than any other stuffs.. well, apart from shopping.. but shopping needs money.. and singing don't.. it's actually a very healthy hobby (if you have a voice pleasant enuff to be enjoyed listening by others) . i guess it will be plenty and plenty of time to sing watever songs that i want.. haha.. no need to compete for the mike.. will kinda be looking forward to hearing denise sing and the birthday gal sing again.. but it gets slightly annoying if they gonna sing non-stop. lol.. no la.. just jk.. other ppl yes.. but not both of them.. cos they can sing.. i guess.. i actually left the birthday present in klang and forgotten to bring it back.. forgetful me.. i wonder wat cake will it be tomoro.. im always in for the cake.. lol
used to stuff myself up during dinner or supper. but these days i seem to hav lost it.. ain't been eatin much these days.. which i think could be a good thing.. especially when i think i need to do sum diet.. not a healthy way tho.. but i cant help it.. i just don't feel like eating anything at all.. mostly i eat just because i hav to these days.. like the past.. haha.. looking back.. i realised that there's often spells like these in the past two to three years.. i would go on an eating 'mode' and would eat non stop till i gained visible weight.. and then after that i would not have any strong interest in food and would eat as lil as possible.. sometimes barely eating anythin at all.. like today.. then my weight would go down fast enuff for people who sees me everyday to take notice.. its like my weight has always been up and down and up and down again.. i think its good if a person can gain weight and lose it fast in a week or two.. like me..
good way to detox i guess.. realised i had been eatin a lot of junkies like mcd and kfc for the past few months.. and plus late nite sleeps and stress and period.. zits has been popping in my face non-stop.. need to get back to a more 'normal' lifestyle.. to safe face..
i think i lost my 'mojo' cos of that and due to sum undisclosed reasons.. yea.. i lost my Mojo. and i want it backkkk..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shoes shoes shoess..

okay.. so i went shopping a few days ago and saw this really really gorgeous pair of heels that came in three colors at Vincci.. yea.. i know wat u all might be thinkin.. take it easy gal.. its only a pair of heels from VINCCI.. not sum kinda high -end brands or even high - street brands like FCUK, Topshop .. etc.. so, wats the big fuss rite? afterall its only Vincci.. a brand where every malaysian gal, woman, old lady, drag queen, transgender.. owns at least a pair of it. really nothin to shout about, unless ur .. welll, never seen heels before..

but lemme tell u, this is exception.. such design and color like these only comes out once in a blue moon in mass produced brand like this one ..especially the color.. omg!! you'll know wat i mean after u view the color.. especially the ladies.. if they happen to share the same tastes like me.. haha..

i actually went to 5 outlets and got the sales gal to check at another 2 outlets for the color and my size cos apparently, all of the outlet were sold out in THAT color and my size.. its the first time i was so desperate for just sum heels thats only below rm70.. yea.. i mean.. totally.. for a heels like that , that cost so affordable.. its such a steaal.. so i guess its worth my trip to all of the shops in kl, just for it. :D
having me emphasize bout the color a fee times, i guess.. those who knows me kinda well enuff will know kinda well enuff wats the color is.. !!
today, i had her check for me at MV, and found out that there is a pair at 1U.. u can imagine my feelings of success.. hahaha.. the feeling of attaining somethin after much petrol wasted.. lol.., so i got it reserved and im picking it up tomoro.. hooray!

proof of reservation.. :)

its gettin late.. just me signing off.. Krystal .

SorciAge Wacoal

went for bra and mascara shopping today.. bought Revlon's 3D Extreme Mascara. and a black polka dot bra from SorciAge Wacoal.. luv the unconventional frilly polka dot strap.. was in midvalley today but had to go all the way to sg's parkson to look for the brand, unfortunately the range has been discontinued in several department stores.. due to.. i dunno wat.. cos as i far i think.. this new range by Wacoal has been really fantastic.. really fly and young.. with feminine designs and laces.. in my opinion, a bit of laces (in a bra) does makes a big differences.. unlike sum bras which tends to look like it caters for tai-tais above the age of 30.

bottomline.. luv it.. :) . im currently watching Lipstick Jungle.. a hit tv series, which is reallly famous in the US.. best of all.. it starred Brooke Shields.. i mean, im sure almost everyone knows who she is.. anyone who actually lives on earth.. ahem. she was really beautiful when she was in her teens and 20's.. not to say that she is any less now.. and not to mention that famous infamous ad that she did for Calvin Klein..

bottom line.. luv her.. luv Lipstick Jungle. ;) .

this mascara really works to the Extreme.. no pun intended. lol....

till then.. byeeeee

of colors and celebs

it has been kinda long since the last post.. due to the fcking line.. anyway, im having my holidays rite now.. yay..i luv hols.. cut and dyed my hair few weeks ago at the gardens.. color was chosen by celebrity hairstylist Raymond.. one of the top stylist in Asia.. :) . toffee brown with gold irridescent. altho i must admit the color was kinda safe, cos initially my plan was to bleach part of it and go dark green.. :D . so, i guess the green have to wait.. im really into daring hair colors. mind you.
and guess wat... just few days ago i was at the gardens and i met my fav malaysian celeb.. the one and only Daphne Iking.. i must admit i was starstruck, tried not to show it tho.. imagine that dude.. at my age.. getting starstruck.. always wondered wat it would be like, if i would ever meet her, since she is my fav..lol.. anyway, both her and her husband was really nice indeed.. and oh.. she's just so pretty and she was wearing two pony tails, even prettier in real life.. luckily i wasnt acting like a lunatic fan or sth.. lol.
watched 'So you think you can dance' just now in 8tv.. congrats to fren CC, who won the competition, and no doubt, one of the best young female dancer in this country. was rooting for her just now..
You go, Gal!!!!!!

tagged and Aloha (long time ago)

surfed a fren's blog and saw a pic during the time when we were partying at Aloha.. it was on a friday during June. June 27 if im not mistaken.. the nite was kinda fun but the music was some gay techno shite. went to Zouk for some charity event before Aloha, which was kinda a last min thingy. took the pic from her blog.. heheh..




"Battle of the sexes", eh, Alison? Nah.. lol. just me and a dear friend chilling.. yam jao..



And oh.. i got tagged for the first time in my blog.. hehe...
instructions : Remove one question from below and add in your own question, make it a total of 20 questions. then tag 8 people from your list, list them out at the end from the post. Notify them that they have been tagged.

1. At what age you wish to marry?
Around age 26 or 27.. would be just nice.

2. Do you smoke?
Yea, not a chain-smoker tho, altho im not that proud of it.. i am sure i will quit some day.. seriously.

3. List out two gifts you would like to receive now.
Yea, my birthday is coming and i would like a free trip to hk and lots of cash...

4. Who did you text mostly?
My fren, cousin..

5. How old are you?
Old enuff to be left alone and young enuff to be restricted form some stuff.. 20 goin on 21.

6. What is the latest thing you bought with your own money?
Erm.. yea a Zara top worth rm 99.90 on sale and i only bought it from my cousin for rm 30, she bought it and it happens to fit me better so she sold it to me.

7. Would you rather marry for lurve or a truck loads of money?
Lurve.. :D

8. where do you wish to get married?
realistically .. KL.. if i am to say places like Paris or Venice.. who do you think will go? Unless im giving free air tics.

9. How old do you think you will be permanently owned by love?
erm, in my 20's and 30's?

10. How many kids do you want?
One. baby boy. :D

11. Are you in-love?
well, i guess most people are or were.. just depends on whether they are telling the truth..

12. Where is the latest restaurant you had dinner?
This nice cosy jap retaurant in Klang.. ate a rm 14 prawn.. yea.. one for rm 14. but the food there was delicious..

13. Name the latest book you bought?
The Last To Know - Melissa Hill.

14. Do you believe in God?
yea.. definitely.. i do..

15. Name your favourite game or sport.
im not a sportsperson. is shopping or haniging out a game? i guess not really.. im not into games or sports then.. used to be really into The Sims tho.

16. What are you thinking rite now?
My near future..

17. The most exciting place you wanna go?
Japan.

18. Hugs or kisses?
it depends..

19. What is the latest porn website you had visited?!
i could barely remember.. i dont surf porn.. except for that Edison Chen scandal..

20. Point out 5 things bout the person who tagged you.
Canna is..

fun
open
nice
honest
loved

lazy to tag anyone.. i guesss thats it.. till then..... bye ..

"Gossip girl"

its been quite a while since my last post, and these days im having my holidays, which means more days to spend freely, apart from the part time job that i juggle. anyway, i 'ved always been a huge fan of hit tv series, and i'ved noticed that one of the tv series 'gossip girl' had become quite a hype among some young adults (females), never was interested in it.. cos, the name itself had already sounded BLAH.. actually it sounded like some stupid teen soap for bimbos.. i came across one of the episodes in ntv 7 and i decided to watch and see whats all that hype about, wasted an hour of that day, i must say. apparently, i was right.. it is actually as shallow as the title and the plot. how much more shallow can it get? bunch of spoiled high skool rich who has nothin more to do but spend their days shopping, talking bout the latest gossips in their skool, duh.. screwing around with other rich brats and each of them tryin to make each other's life dificult by pulling stupid immature pranks like.. let me recall.. sending a small tube of cocaine to ur fellow gal enemy?! wow, i must say, thats like.. the smartest move of dealing with ur enemy. who would thought of that? seriously, its like.. amazing. now who can beat that? who can come up with a smarter plan than that? definitely no one.
and there was this pair of siblings who were unfortunately, came from a working class parent and very unfortunately got send by the dad to that same prestigous skool, and the lil sis was workin her ass off tryin to blend in with the 'in' crowd of pretencious fake teen gals. and at one point, she was crying to her dad cos she lost all of those frens in a blink of an eye. erm.. hello? *roll eyes* . it just a pity that there are actually real gals out there who actually place impotance on these things mentioned above in their life instead of focusing on whats the inside thats counts.
i mean, dont get me wrong, i lurve fashion and i totally adores high end brands. but to go into 'that' way is totally a no-no. therefore, i dont really get y would some ppl would be so into this knda show. it doesnt do the brain any good.. in fact its like.. putting crap inside ur head. (no offence to those gossip girl fans out there) and eventually it would start to seep inside you that they way they are living is the 'actual' way of life. i would rather watch the updated take on Beverly 90210 instead. infact, i will.. when the first season is aired. hehehh. but hey, im not stopping anyone from watching Gossip girl,none offence taken, its people's preferences.. i'ved got frens who's really into that show too. hehe. gotta go.. nite.

my favourite game

it is certainly gonna be a new day, after the fall, and i wonder how many times could i fall.. it might had well be the last time.
i dunno what ur looking for, you haven't found it again thats for sure, you ripped me up and spread me all around, in the dust of the deed of time, and this is not a case of lust u see, it's not a matter of u versus me, it's fine the way you wan me on ur own, but in the end its always me alone. i only know wat i'ved been working for, another you so i could love you more, i really thought that i could take you there, but my experiment is not getting us anywhere, i had a vision i could turn u rite, a stupid mission and a lethal fight, i should have seen it when my hope was new, my heart is black and my body is blue..

and im losing my favourite game, ur losing ur mind again..
im losing my baby.. i tried but ur still the same
ur losing a saviour and a saint..

i dunno wat to think of you anymore, minimum requirements also you cant fulfill. now there's no more minimum requirements. something you said, i wonder if you really mean that, and i wonder wat you mean. and wat am i to you, if i ever meant a single thing, if..
if its the case.. i don't have anything to say. but ohh.. i dont hate you.. not even a single bit. i can't find it within myself to even dislike you.. do i hav a reason to do so? i dunno, you tell me if you would.

damn...

dear krys.. congrats.. u screwed up again.. and this is the worse and the furdest that you went. it's always like that, ain't it? when life is peaceful and stable enough, you must find something to fuck it up. this is certainly very like you. its no use regretting what you did now. what is done, is done, no time turning, no nothing.. no shit. u just simply made the wrong choices at the wrong time. it's hard.. to forget bout him. but it's getting better. i want out of this whole thing. i want out of him. if only. and i'm always that easily misunderstood. and i just wanna make things better. between us. within myself. if i could.
it seems all is goin down hill. and i don't want that to happen. history will not repeat itself again.
i just want out. i am tired. and sometimes i think i am confused. damn.. this blog is getting darker.. and i jump from one shit hole to the next. it's true, i wish it wasn't true. i am not independent enough. and i should take responsibility on myself more often.

delay no more

i need .. i need to stop procrastinating.. and start what i ought to hav been doing 2 days earlier. my Quantitative Methods lab report. i seriously can't fail this subject. in fact.. i cant fail any subs at all. it would be a waste of time and money..obviously.. alrite, i'll start tomoro.. no more day after tomoro or wat. just plain tomoro. i'll start finding my journals.

and start chanting the mantra "i don't mind, and you don't matter." i guess it's working.which, is good. ;) . i just hav this feeling.. life and stuff gonna get better, im not saying that life is not good rite now.. but well, it could certainly get better than the present.
i guess it's safe to say that, i look at things at a different perception these days. i hav become more sure of myself, of what want, what i wanted, and who i am as a person.
practically everyone our age goes thru that sorta "finding myself, different perception" shit huh.. so i guess its no biggie after all. yea.. people change, i know that. including 'you'.. that's only natural. it is a 'must', to change, as long as it's for the better. or else, it's better to not change at all..watsoever. anyway, it's kinda gettin early. thats all.
delay no more~~

repeat mode

im feeling fat.. despite the fact that i shed a pound or 2 already.. "hey.. u idiot, one or 2 pounds merely counts, unless ur a dog or sth.."(thinkin to myself) and im feeling rather depressed.. the internet connection got a bit fcuked up.. and my mind's a bit fcuked up .. mentally fcuked up, emotionally fcuked up.. (man.. i realised i have trouble typing 'fcuk' instead of 'fuck' . was backspacing everytime i type this word.)
cooked pasta for 2 just now for dinner cum supper, and it was actually meant for 1.. meant for me.. meaning.. i ate the portion for 2. ;) . no wonder laa.. how to thin.. like that.. ish. geram. i realised i never diet.. i realised that i eat a lott.. and now.. i realised that i am fat. (well, actually , kinda realised it long ago, but i was too proud, therefore living in self-denial.) lol. i guess i just lurvee to eat.. anyway, i was eating my 'comfort food' and listening to leona lewis's 'Better in time' on repeat mode. somehow, these two combinations brings me temporary comforts and does wonders for my mind. it is all mind over matter, meaning.. I do not mind, And you do not matter. period. (easy to do?)
okay, so now i would at least giv it a try by dieting and not eating supper and see how it goes. see whether are there any improvements on my weight.. ;D

i might hav screwed up a few things in my life before.. but who doesn't? i guess eventually everyone does. (not trying to just make myself feel better by saying that. it's just a fact :) ) im only human.. so, screw it. night.

live and learn

its funny how some songs can really make you relate to it. and its funny how you get to hear them exactly at a time where u were kinda goin thru the same thing. at least it did, at one point of my life. maybe it still does.

~ i came home in the morning
and everything was gone
oh what have i done
i dropped dead in the hallway
cursing the dawn, oh come on sun
why must i burn
im just trying to learn

i stared into the lights
to kill some of my pain
it was all in vain, cause no sense remain
but an ache in my body
and regret on my mind
but i'll be fine

cause i live and i learn
yes i live and i learn
if you live you will learn
i live and i learn

got kicked in the head
so i started a fight, cause i knew i was right
but i learned i was wrong
i remember a slaughter
i remember i fought, for the money i brought
i got blistered and burned
and lost what i earned

but i live and i learn
yes i live and i learn

i got, i got it now
she's got, she's got it now

i came to on a corner
with some help from a man
and goddamn, i dont' seem to have learnt
that a lady in need is guilty indeed
so i paid and got laid in return
and i don't know what i'ved learned

well you get what you give
and hell yes i lived, but if you live you as learn
i dont' think i'll be learned
oh with the sun in my eyes
surprise, im living a life
but i don't seem to learn
no i don't think i can learn ~

i guess im just living.. and learning.. in this life. just hope that i learned..

tired

im tired.. physically and emotionally.. which is not good.. need to recharge..
need to learn to sleep earlier.. need to learn to have a stronger sense of self..
i wonder which will be more easier for me to achieve..
like i'ved said.. im tired. night.

untitled

have you ever been mistaken as someone not ur own race before? i had, quite a few times.. it's ok if a malay thought that u are kinda one of them also, or probably thinks that u are of mixed heritage.. (it's supposed to be a good thing, it's usually a compliment). but what about when your own race.. some chinks suddenly comes up to you and starts speaking malay! having experienced the former and not the latter until today.. was working today and i must admit it was quite a surprise and i was somewhat speechless by it. are you chinese? she asked. and another customer was speaking to me in malay.. wat the heck? no, i didnt went to redang or tioman and suntan myself. thk u.
and anyway, i met one of the nicest gal yesterday.. at least i think she is, was kinda sweet to me.. yes, nice gals still exists in malaysia. i don't get why some gals would prefer to be bitches instead. hmm.. some hidden self-esteem issues bout themselves? haha.. dunno. or maybe they think that being seen upon as one would certainly make their attraction factor level up. i don't think that it is attractive at all being seen as a bitch. seriously, do you?? or i may be wrong.. it could be that.. heck, i don't even know what's attractive anymore.
but i do know one thing.. by just being a genuine person. that's Attractive. ;D

damage-control

Today was ok.. i immensely drenched myself in Quantitative Methods in class today. Which was kinda good. tomoro i will be having another assignment in this subject. i hope i do better in it compared to the past one. i just ended something just now,yes.. this time it's for good. which i should.. long time ago. anyhow, im sure it had ended long ago. it was just me, in the end. and this makes my self securities crumble a lil more. we are just not at the same page anymore. not even half a page. shit. that's all that i wanna say. i don't wanna talk about it anymore. i guess i'm just too vulnerable when it comes to certain things, too transparent. which.. is not always a good thing. arghhh... to hell with it. i guess some things are better left unsaid.
if you ever come across this.. yea.. 'you' .. you ought to know that i never asked of anything from you. no..nothing.. and i don't expect that you'll be good as gold. as i don't think that we will go anywhere further ever since the beginning when i first met you. and you really did not make an impact on me at all. even after i met you, i have this gut feeling not to step any further. but sometimes you just chosed to ignore your own gut feelings. which i did.
you just happen to caught me at my worst moment, the moment when i was the most uncertain with things and myself. yea.. you did had your usage, which was good in a way, i guess. as if sometimes i had a wall to lean on too, a wall made of paper, so easily teared.thin wallpaper. not good. lol. anyhow, i guess i have nothing to blame about as things weren't as simple even from the very beginning. it was just the way things are. which does not need to happen. but it did, so be it. and i realised that, perhaps you don't know me at all. and you were not what i thought you were, why do you have to assume things when you don't need to. haihz.. seriously i don't know what is it. you don't need to, get it??
Of all of the things you said, i feel rather ambivalent about you now.. i guess that is it. as a somewhat optimist, it's a blessing in disguise i supposed. there's a some other stuffs too, but those are P & C. like i'ved said, some things are better left unsaid. wonder all you like, or you could be as ambiguous as u were. like u had always been.


~ here's to all the pretty words
we'll never speak,
here's to all the pretty girls
you're gonna meet.. ~
~

untitled

Today was shit.. having period cramps and i couldn't concentrate on wat the lecturer was lecturing, in stats class.. i used to think that stats was easy, way easier than maths. then it hits me that it was mostly the same.. same level of f*cking difficulty.. Yes.. maths is difficult... at least to me. and boring.. and dry.. almost as dry as Law and Accounts. I'm just not cut out for it i guess.. oh.. anything.. to hell with it. I just don't wanna fail this sub and at least get a credit in it. I don't know whether this has something to do with my hormones or period or whatever.. but i am feeling really crappy ever since this morning i woke up, oh yeaa. nearly forgot, it started since yesterday, or the day before yesterday. im still figuring out whether or not this has something to do with some god damn PMS symptoms or is it just me. i used to have a hard time understanding why is it do the fairer sex gets really emo or easily irritated when it is the time of the month. As far as i could remember, i don't ever or had never experienced any PMS symptoms in the past ever since i got my period, which came pretty late in my teenage years. Whenever any of my close female frens gets a mood swing, and sometimes, unfortunately, they get to lash out at me for no apparent f*cking reasons, i was patient, yess.. very patient with them, and yes, seeing me this patient apparently get on their nerves even more. Just because your mind's messed up rite now, does not mean that i have to play along with you.. duh..
So, what's happening to me rite now? am i eating up my own words? or is it the pain in my stomach thats doing this to me. or maybe, my mind is just f*cked up rite now.. and rite now.. the whole world just seems so unfair to me. And the reality is, this world isn't fair at all. Life is not fair, long time ago, i had come to terms with this.. what we can do is to just make the best out of it. But sometimes, i just can't stop whining about it. about things not turning the way it was supposed to be with me. i just f*cking hate dissapointments, this is the number 1 thing that i hate most in life, more than anything else in this world. if one thing does not go the way as it was supposed to be, then .. my whole day would be gone.. i have reasons when i'm all flared up, and i have reasons to feel irritated. so,on very rare occasions, when i do.. there ought to be a reason on what or who ticks me off, and a very VALID one. As far as i know, i take pride in myself as being one of the most patient people that i know of, and will ever know, hell.. i could wait for someone for more than an hour and barely feel irritated. i guess maybe it's cos of me often being late for appointments and stuff.. and i know punctuality is important, really important. but i often have a prob with punctuality. trying to improve on it tho. ohhh.. i so need a mood stabilizer rite now.. and this pain is near to unbearable. and those pink pills don't help..it just helps psychologically, not in a physical way. not for me i guess.. i wish guys gets them too.lol. *ahem*. =P
And ohh.. i finished the season 3 of Grey's Anatomy. superb. Izzie's character was real.. and the vulnerability that she potrays was so real.. so raw.. almost to the point of being naked.. like stripped full-frontal nakedness. there's a sense of 'vulnerability' in her vulnerability. having said that, it made her a really strong character because of it. it's strong to be vulnerable sometimes, i think. get wat i mean? Meredith, still being Meredith.. it seems to me that she is always getting lost in her own thoughts and her Mcdreamy. luv her tho. And ohh.. man-whore Mcsteamy is so HOT!! and definately getting mcsteamier.. eye-candy, no doubt.

Third attempt..

Went to Ws's house yesterday.. i actually came back kinda early.. before 1.30 am. Slept really late last nite argueing bout some peretty trivial matter about me buying loads of clothes and stocking it up my closet without wearing it, with Denise, seems like me doin so kinda pissed her off.. woke up at 1 sth today by a call from a fren to ask me to get ready to head out to the house, ended up having to skip shower and took my shower there, (actually felt a bit pai seh cos the dad was there).. Had a bbq party alongside with coursemates there.. forgotten to take some pics. Lazy to do so.. anyway, this is kinda like my third attempt to start a blog.. was alternating between xanga and blogspot until i decided to post this in blogspot.. the original transript is still there in xanga.. finally feels that it would be better here as virtually every chick blogs in xanga..lol.. don't really know how long will it last tho, till i come up with something more interestin to do.. i guess it no need for me to start sum (lebih) short biodata here to intro myself. Havin a bit of headache now. till next time i guess.