it has been kind long ever since the last post. sometimes i really don't know what to blog about. if i were to blog about my deep dark thoughts.. ( well yea, i do have deep dark thoughts..) then it would have been too revealing. if its just merely grazing thru the surface.. then its too shallow. well of course I would want to pour out my innermost worries and fears here, certain readers would have loved to read that, about turmoils and misfortunes. somehow it makes people feel less alone, and much luckier if they were to read about sad or miserable stories. or perhaps people do relate to things like that. or what about the rest of the people outside who thinks. " i have no time for that". all in all, the older we get, the less we reveal. and at the end of the day, people read things to feel good about themselves, and people say or do things to feel good about themselves. im no different than that, and so does an readers out there.
and gosh.. how much i would love to have my blog and bitch about people in here. about all the weird and different bitches i have met. but then again.. nah.. couldnt be bothered with it now. maybe next time. truth is, people judge.. and the people who say they dont give a f**k about anyone or what people says, are lying. again, back to the above notion, "everyone do things to make themselves feel good". well me too.
And the people who always tell you to just relax, be yourself... well deep down, they judge too. because? everybody judges, everybody has their own set of opinions, and everybody talks. and most people dont realize it even when they are doing it. name me a person who is so liberal and who does not judge at all, in all honesty, not even in their tiny thoughts. and i will name you a girl who doesnt love money and shopping. well wait, before any liberal feminism supporter start to judge or say stuff like, "who me? no way, you are the materialistic one here.." well lets face it, apart from the enlightened ones or the monks, who doesnt love money, who does not wish to be living the good life, to be able to eat or buy whatever you want. and for some guys out there who scoffs at girls who loves to shop. dont you want the latest gadget as well? dont you have a dream car as well? and dont you want to own that gold rolex watch, your infinite collection of records and cds, get your dream girl, be able to afford the best wine in the house.. or wherever your interest lies. so whats up with guys who scoffs at girls who loves money and beauty? if you think they are gold diggers, then just stay away from them.. thats all. and there is very big difference between a gold digger and just a girl who loves to have it all. men or women, who wouldnt want to have it all?
okay, a bit off topic here, bottomline.. everybody talks. not in this case, but in a general manner i meant. speaking of materialism, yeaaa baby.. i do like to shop. but thats cause i love fashion too much. i dont buy stuffs just for the sake of buying. or to feel in the void inside.. or whatever you want to call it. when i look at a piece of clothing, i look at it as a piece of statement, whether do i agree with that "statement" or whether or not, would i want to present myself in the item before me? because, you are what you dress. remember rule #1? people judge. even if they dont, you judge yourself. your clothes become you. and vice versa. even a pair of jeans speaks volume about the way you are. it's easy to just see something, and go.. "oh i like that, i'll just get that'. at the end of the day you'll just end up with clothes you realize you dont like.. or clothes that you thought looked cool on you which actually, not so much.,
and when it comes to money, i have always believe that, when you can be happy just living with very little money, you would be happier if you one day have more. come to think of it, the ones that i have been unhappy about, money was least of my concern. speaking of which, there's so much more to life than just fashion and money. happiness comes in family, true friends, romance, ice creams and many other forms as well. but most importantly, happiness comes from within.. which is the hardest to attain and to be able to have that, it requires a lot of patience,inner work & strength. i have come to realize that happiness is also a journey.
