au revoir xaviera

....................... im gonna get used to it right? not being able to hear your voice almost every nite before i sleep.. not being able to hear from a to z about how's your day, however mundane or boring it is ( i still enjoy listening to it).. not being able to laugh at ur funny antics and ur so-hainess.. not being able to just pick up the fon and dial up ur num everytime i feel like it. not being able to listen to you complain about occasional stupid people that ticks you off. not being able to kill time talkin to you on the fon while waiting for another call to come in ( yea, you know who..) not being able to spend as much time as we would like to. not being able to listen to all your problems and u listening to me goin on and on about mine.. which could be quite unreasonable at times i know..

i know the first three weeks without you is goin to be the hardest.. i wanna see you tomorrow if its possible.. im sure you will be able to learn loads of things there.. and while ur learning, pls don't forget about me here okay.. perhaps time will fly so quick and before i know it.. we'll be meeting each other again, and hav lotsa fun together again..

i love you. till we meet again. ( by da way, tomoro not counted laa)
promise me that you'll always feel the same for me okay.. and that we won't grow apart.
p.s: buy some things for me while ur at there okay. you still fucking owe me my birthday gift baby.

the realist

i told mr. K what happened last nite. and then he said something like this.. 'people normally doesn't show this kind of sincerity.. you watch too many movies.'
~
thats the first time i've heard people say that.. but it's true. and interesting to me. i told him that he is realistic.. which is good. he said that being realistic does not mean being successful.
i think that there is a link between them. just that realists themselves doesn't think so. thats what realists are. he said i just made something nonsensical.. sensible.
yea, due to watching too many movies. i said.

dreams water

im feeling bored.. tired and unmotivated today.. and i hav loads of assignment to pass up. the nearest due next week. and i have been having a lot of weird dreams lately, dreams of people in the pasts. there were people that were that im very okay with in real life. and there were also people that i would prefer not to associate myself with. so having said that, it were all weird to me. and i dream that there were people who were trying to pull me down. people whom i barely know and whom only reminded me of their existence in my dream . but in my dreams i was happy. reality-wise, i am happier. except for being a lil thirsty now. so i'd go downstairs now and fetch myself a glass of water.

Heartless

~ i m tired. i need a break. for the time being.

still, i can't believe that Adam did not win. fucking lost 30 bucks cos he did not win, if he did i would be 100 bucks richer. i had the rite mind to bet with mr. lee . 30 for 100. i was kinda sure i would win. i mean, what are the odds? rite?? and he knew the results way before i did. wat the heck. >.<
what the fuck is wrong with those voters? like.. seriously. i mean, even Katy Perry thinks that he should be the next idol. sure that must hav had count for something rite? well, kris isn't that bad afterall. afterall, like i've said. his rendition of heartless is classic.

on a lighter note , tonite in particular (yes, only tonite in particular) pictures of him kept flashing in my mind. his face and those features kept popping in my head. perhaps it's just one of the days where i misses him. darn.. why does he look so hot in a cap or in his working attire? (hahaha..) perhaps, it's only me and my humble opinion. perhaps i may be blinded too. hahaha.. neways, i guess it's only natural that all galfrens would feel the same way about ther boifrens, however okay or not okay they look. well, unless the boifrens looks like some fucking Quasimodo. which is rather sad, but in society norms rather rare and unlikely, because reastically speaking.. almost everyone are born rather okay looking on the average.

fucking miss you.. but it's alrite, i got used to it tho. no worries, ur just so darn lucky you don't hav a clingy girlfriend.

Acoustic

i think that adam would win, he deserved it so much more, with him with his incredibly sexy looks and being a performer for years.. but somehow i find myself anticipating kris's performance more compared to adam. and even tho, no doubt, adam is so much hotter. kris has got the most versatile voice ever.. and one of the nicest song choices. turning songs into his own the way he does it. i think that kris's rendition of 'heartless' is so very freakin amazing.perhaps.. i've a got a huge thing for acoustic. too bad that he is married. well, don't get me wrong, cos obviously it has got nothing to do with me, but i personally thinks that him being married actually would have had made him lost a few votes more from the ladies, especially. i think those fanatics would rather vote for adam even tho there's a speculation that he is gay, despite the fact that he claimed that he has got nothing to hide. i'd say they would rather take the risk, and obviously its cos of his enormous gigantic huge amount of talent in perfoming.

p.s : no, bryan.. u are so wrong,cos that song done by kris was spectacularly marvelous. i know you would ask me who won. and then i would tell u that 'heartless' was marvelous. again..

Out in the open

~we are two complete opposites in many ways yet so alike in various forms, forms that are not apparent at first glance, and not many people would get it. sometimes its these things that matters the most.. i bet even you had never thought about that before. not even in the present. ~

Good night, good night

time kinda flies fast and slow sometimes.. its kinda like its not consistent.. i bet anyone on earth would hav had that feeling before.. and skool's starting again next week. and im full of motivation. haha..
and also.. a point that i wanna state today is, im sure everyone in the past(or maybe in the future too) had done something in their life that after sometime,like when we reminisce back the things that had happened in the past, the feelings that we felt and stuff.. then we will go like "omfg, what on the fucking earth was i thinking back then, and how on earth did i got to feel that way towards certain things or a certain someone at that period?" or some sorta things like that.. was young, innocent, guilible and very much naive i guess.. i tonite in particular i am feeling 'somewhat' ( which is kinda a light word to describe it) speechless with myself.. well, not that i did anything outrageously dumb or crazy or what some years back, but its just something that gets me wondering.. the little things that we reflect on, but the stuffs that we know that we will remember it for the rest of our lives despite it being only a small part of ur life and small trivialities.. sometimes i think i just learn so much just merely for the past 2 years. and also gotten to make some very ultra random but crucial choices, much to my own pleasant surprises which lead to the present that im in now.. which is good. ;) God does works in mysterious ways..

but as i've said, like i always do.. we live and we learn.. sometimes we just hav to experience the worse in order to hav the good for the aftermath..


~ never stop learning, never stop living..~

p.s : and dreaming and dancing and loving too.. ;P