A better son/daughter

i guess i can relate to this..


~Sometimes in the morning i am petrified and can't move
Awake but cannot open my eyes
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs i know i can't breath
And hope someone will help me this time
Your mother's still calling you insane and high
Swearing it's different this time
And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
And that god never blessed her insides
Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
And crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
Like the sick and the dying

And sometimes when you're on you're really fucking on
And your friends they sing along and they love you
But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence

A Better Son / Daughter Lyrics
Lyrics College

But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
And you'll be be better you'll be smarter
More grown up and a better daughter
Or son and a real good friend
And you'll be awake and you'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
And you'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest you'll be brave
You'll be handsome you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy

Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them...


-A good pick me up from Rilo Kiley- Something we could all relate to sometimes

Across the Universe

lollipops turn into cigarettes. the innocent ones turns into sluts. homework goes in the trash. mobile phones are being used in class. detention becomes suspension. soda becomes vodka. bikes become cars. kisses turn into sex. remember when getting high means swinging on the playground? when protection meant wearing a helmet? when the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? dad"s shoulder's were the highest place on earth and mom was your hero? your worst enemies were your siblings. race issues were about who ran the fastest. war was only a card game. and the only drug you knew was cough medicine. when wearing a skirt didn't make you a slut. the most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? and we couldn't wait to grow up.

- via batteredandbruised.


and so i remembered there was a time when i was still a kid, about 9 or 10. i really couldn't wait to grow up. sometimes i would look into the mirror, wondering how tall would i grow up to be. turns out that i was an inch taller than i imagined. and i always wonder at what type of young lady (lol) that i would grow up to be.. i would look at the older jie jie's around me, some would pair everything mini skirts, some are a specky nerdy- bunch, while some lives in flared jeans and t-shirt, and some of them tried to look cool with big tees and sweatpants (which i thought was really cool, at that age) but it was always a lot of denim mini skirts. not so much of denim shorts. at least that's what the teens around me was wearing. so i would always wonder.. would that be me when i grow up? or would i wear big t-shirts around and be really cool too? i was always wearing my mickey mouse and winnie the pooh t-shirts. i thought i was too old for dresses. and i didnt really look as good in denim minis as those older girls. so i put the cotton ones away. till im 16, i thought.. i will wear the same skirt, and i will look as good as them. and then everyone starts baring their midriff with short tank tops or low waist-ed flared jeans. and i was a few years older by then, so i tried baring mine one day, two days, and then i went back to my Pikachu t shirt. up till today i don't own a denim mini. only the cotton ones.
i prefer the 40's look. dresses with well defined waist and an 'hour-glass' silhouette. i guess i would make a slightly better oriental pin up girl than some tummy baring britney-wannabes.

The metal rabbit

I have a feeling that im not going to like year 2011 very much. strangely, I've stopped enjoying Chinese new year somewhere ever since the past few years. it wasn't torture, but it's like i couldn't wait for the whole thing to end. and i wouldn't know the reasons either, if someone were to ask me why.

maybe it's because i know it's not going to be all rainbows like the promise of every new year. i guess it's what most people do. painting pretty pictures at the beginning of every year, each one more beautiful than the previous.
i may be wrong.
so what if there's going to be plenty? you can't do much with rainbows, can you?







~He gave me that night back and this time, I told you the truth. We talked and held each other till the sun came up. And as I went to hell, the devil asked me if it was worth it. I said yes. Yes it was. ~