repeat mode

im feeling fat.. despite the fact that i shed a pound or 2 already.. "hey.. u idiot, one or 2 pounds merely counts, unless ur a dog or sth.."(thinkin to myself) and im feeling rather depressed.. the internet connection got a bit fcuked up.. and my mind's a bit fcuked up .. mentally fcuked up, emotionally fcuked up.. (man.. i realised i have trouble typing 'fcuk' instead of 'fuck' . was backspacing everytime i type this word.)
cooked pasta for 2 just now for dinner cum supper, and it was actually meant for 1.. meant for me.. meaning.. i ate the portion for 2. ;) . no wonder laa.. how to thin.. like that.. ish. geram. i realised i never diet.. i realised that i eat a lott.. and now.. i realised that i am fat. (well, actually , kinda realised it long ago, but i was too proud, therefore living in self-denial.) lol. i guess i just lurvee to eat.. anyway, i was eating my 'comfort food' and listening to leona lewis's 'Better in time' on repeat mode. somehow, these two combinations brings me temporary comforts and does wonders for my mind. it is all mind over matter, meaning.. I do not mind, And you do not matter. period. (easy to do?)
okay, so now i would at least giv it a try by dieting and not eating supper and see how it goes. see whether are there any improvements on my weight.. ;D

i might hav screwed up a few things in my life before.. but who doesn't? i guess eventually everyone does. (not trying to just make myself feel better by saying that. it's just a fact :) ) im only human.. so, screw it. night.