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Today was shit.. having period cramps and i couldn't concentrate on wat the lecturer was lecturing, in stats class.. i used to think that stats was easy, way easier than maths. then it hits me that it was mostly the same.. same level of f*cking difficulty.. Yes.. maths is difficult... at least to me. and boring.. and dry.. almost as dry as Law and Accounts. I'm just not cut out for it i guess.. oh.. anything.. to hell with it. I just don't wanna fail this sub and at least get a credit in it. I don't know whether this has something to do with my hormones or period or whatever.. but i am feeling really crappy ever since this morning i woke up, oh yeaa. nearly forgot, it started since yesterday, or the day before yesterday. im still figuring out whether or not this has something to do with some god damn PMS symptoms or is it just me. i used to have a hard time understanding why is it do the fairer sex gets really emo or easily irritated when it is the time of the month. As far as i could remember, i don't ever or had never experienced any PMS symptoms in the past ever since i got my period, which came pretty late in my teenage years. Whenever any of my close female frens gets a mood swing, and sometimes, unfortunately, they get to lash out at me for no apparent f*cking reasons, i was patient, yess.. very patient with them, and yes, seeing me this patient apparently get on their nerves even more. Just because your mind's messed up rite now, does not mean that i have to play along with you.. duh..
So, what's happening to me rite now? am i eating up my own words? or is it the pain in my stomach thats doing this to me. or maybe, my mind is just f*cked up rite now.. and rite now.. the whole world just seems so unfair to me. And the reality is, this world isn't fair at all. Life is not fair, long time ago, i had come to terms with this.. what we can do is to just make the best out of it. But sometimes, i just can't stop whining about it. about things not turning the way it was supposed to be with me. i just f*cking hate dissapointments, this is the number 1 thing that i hate most in life, more than anything else in this world. if one thing does not go the way as it was supposed to be, then .. my whole day would be gone.. i have reasons when i'm all flared up, and i have reasons to feel irritated. so,on very rare occasions, when i do.. there ought to be a reason on what or who ticks me off, and a very VALID one. As far as i know, i take pride in myself as being one of the most patient people that i know of, and will ever know, hell.. i could wait for someone for more than an hour and barely feel irritated. i guess maybe it's cos of me often being late for appointments and stuff.. and i know punctuality is important, really important. but i often have a prob with punctuality. trying to improve on it tho. ohhh.. i so need a mood stabilizer rite now.. and this pain is near to unbearable. and those pink pills don't help..it just helps psychologically, not in a physical way. not for me i guess.. i wish guys gets them too.lol. *ahem*. =P
And ohh.. i finished the season 3 of Grey's Anatomy. superb. Izzie's character was real.. and the vulnerability that she potrays was so real.. so raw.. almost to the point of being naked.. like stripped full-frontal nakedness. there's a sense of 'vulnerability' in her vulnerability. having said that, it made her a really strong character because of it. it's strong to be vulnerable sometimes, i think. get wat i mean? Meredith, still being Meredith.. it seems to me that she is always getting lost in her own thoughts and her Mcdreamy. luv her tho. And ohh.. man-whore Mcsteamy is so HOT!! and definately getting mcsteamier.. eye-candy, no doubt.